Tips for Healthy Relationship


Relation

While having lunch today with my colleagues, someone pointed out, “look at that girl, I never saw her mixing up with anyone, she always known to be a lone creature”. Immediately I started recollecting the past moments when I noticed her, “That’s true” one more confirmation came across the table. I was also convinced to their findings! But somewhere in my curious mind, I was trying to find out why some people are so popular :)  and have plenty of groups around them, whereas some are alone :(.

In some cases, people themselves choose to be alone because they don’t feel comfortable while talking to others or some time they don’t find anyone compatible to them ;).  But in most of the cases people initiate building relationship but they fail to maintain it. You must have seen or experienced a situation where – someone arrives in and his known ones are trying to avoid him or hiding.  In contrast, on some people’s arrivals most of his friends are welcoming & cheering for him.

Now lets take your example – Why it happens that with some people you feel very comfortable, listen them with interest  and spend long time, while with some people you eagerly wait for the talk to be over?

Here I have tried to figure out few basic but important ingredients for building and nourishing healthy relationships:  

Talk – Talk – Talk :  Talk to more and more people.  If you are not talking then you are reducing the chance of relationship building. People make assumptions about the reactions and feelings of other people and pull themselves back, but remember – assumptions are the biggest hurdle in building relationship. So, set yourself free and start talking to the world ! 

Talk about Himself: Is there anyone in this world who don’t want to listen the statement which is made about him? And when it is something good?  Certainly NOT.  Everyone likes if you talk about them, so whenever you meet people try to talk more about them….they will love you. If you are meeting someone first time, then simply praise him on his timing, dressing, style, watch etc. 

Give respect to his Opinion and Thoughts:  Always show respect and value to the opinion of your friends and loved ones. This is a sad truth that we reserve our worst behavior for our loved ones and flatter other people. This may lead to some bitter experience in your friendship or relationship. So…wake up ! start giving respect and value to  your loved one’s feelings and opinion, because you too would not like company of a person who don’t bother about your thoughts and opinion.    

Minimize your Expectation – let them free: Don’t try to put your expectation’s weight on your friend or partner’s life. If there is a relation then expectation is natural but it should be like salt in food…adequately lesser amount. It may show the value of that person in your life but over-expectation puts pressure on the same person. Over-expectation restricts his/her freedom and you can’t expect love & warmth from your slaves.  Let your loved ones free and keep faith in them, they will always come back to you! If not, then they were illusion of love and friendship.  

Follow 80-20 Rule : Even though we know that its not good to evaluate any type of relationship but we always do. Some time situation demands….sometime people, but we do this painful exercise many times in our life.  If something is bound to happen, then we should try to do it in a better way. Whenever you are in midst of such situation, always remove 20% bad moments of your life with that person, because at 10% times you were in bad mood due to some other reason and at other 10% times he may was in bad mood. Now evaluate your relationship on balance 80% moments…be fair to yourself dear. 

Some great statements about Relationship:

# A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship. – Rainer Maria Rilke

# Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.  – Chuck Palahniuk

# Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. – Anthony J. D’Angelo

# Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you. – Mike Murdock

# It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.  – Hermann Hesse

 


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